Revision: Shatter the Chains

By Allison Stein

To edit a poem is to amplify its words. Indeed, the revision process has enabled me to elevate my work and empowered me to forge a more profound connection with readers. Below, please find the first draft of “Shatter the Chains” as well as the more polished piece that resulted from restructuring the core of the poem. It is my wish that you, too, are inspired to channel the creativity essential to transforming a dream into a reality. Enjoy!

First Draft:

Break Through the Chains

I am a fabrication.
Only the richest, rawest part of my soul is genuine,
Pure enough to emanate this muffled song:
Echoes of a heartbeat disintegrate in silence.

I am a compromise.
Insecurity conquers my courage,
Stifles my stamina:
Freedom fades to the shadows of dreams.

I am a disguise.
The confines of a stereotype shelter me
As unspoken lies clutter my mind:
Fragments of faith dissolve in lonely tears.

I am brave.
I am strong enough to fight,
To break through the chains of fear
And achieve liberation.

Revised Draft:

Shatter the Chains

I am a lie.
Let the world filter my soul
Until echoes of my heartbeat disintegrate
In silence.

I am a fabrication.
Let the song inscribed in my spirit go unheard
Until freedom fades into shadows
Of dreams.

I am a compromise.
Let the confines of a stereotype shelter me
Until fragments of faith dissolve
In lonely tears.

But I am brave.
I am strong enough to fight,
To shatter the chains forged by fear
And achieve liberation. 
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